"The problem that has no name." - Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique, 1957.
The problem in the 1950s, in Ms. Friedan's opinion and shared by many feminists of the time, was that women were not equal in American society and that women's personal development had been shunted by their collective role as supporting wife & loving mother. She noted in her book that "The problem lay buried, unspoken, for many years in the minds of American women. It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction, a yearning [that is, a longing] that women suffered in the middle of the 20th century in the United States. Each suburban wife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries … she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question — 'Is this all?"
You'd think we've changed in the last 50 years, but not so much. While the pendulum swung in women's favor in access to work and we're still closing the earnings gap, a "new" problem continues. Women criticize each other's lives & choices. There are as many variations of a successful American woman as there are women. Some of us work outside the home. Some of us stay at home and raise children. Some women have to work financially and raise children. Some women choose to work and raise children. All of these women can be successful, and yet, we continue to criticize. When, we should be celebrating that many women today actually have options. Many women don't, but that's a topic for another day & another post.
I was appalled at the headline in the New York Times last week with it's article "Honey, Don't Bother Mommy. I"m Too Busy Building My Brand." (I almost hate driving any traffic to the article, but you should read it) That it's written by a woman who blogs is just too much to take. Many women have found an outlet online through writing a blog or following other women bloggers. Some seek recommendations on products, some want to peer into another woman's life, some seek discounts & coupons. Women who blog (including this blogger) do so for a variety of reasons.
We're not all Dooce, Pioneer Woman, Greek Tragedy, Jennsylvania, Consumer Queen or Brazen Careerist. Sometimes we're Organized Chaos, JemJam, Musings by Max, Safronified and Make Lemonade. Good for those women who have built a business & revenue stream for themselves & their families. And, good for those women who are sharing their thoughts, experimenting in the space and might someday consider adding some ad revenue. And, thanks, all for frequently making me laugh & sometimes making me cry.
The Social Path wrote a nice (meaning interesting, not positive) review of the article. Most telling? The article ran in the Fashion section. As though women blogging wasn't actually business. Because it is. Ask the Walmart 11 Moms. Heck, ask Walmart. And, thanks to a link from The Social Path post, Mommy 101's superfantastic review of the NYT article can be read in whole, here.
I don't like Jennifer Mendelsohn's article. That a mom who blogs would criticize women who want to expand their horizons and possibly add a revenue stream to their families by attending a blogging boot camp offends me. To be fair, I haven't read her blog Clever Title TK, so I should check it out. Mommy 101 likes her. Maybe I will. I don't like this article. I don't like the accompanying graphic (shown below) with angry, neglected children & chores.
Copyright, New York Times
Time lapse between starting this post & finishing? One day ... let's pick up here ...
So, now I've read Jennifer Mendelsohn's response on Clever Title TK. You should, too. As suspected by Mommy 101, she didn't write the title and didn't include the graphic. I'm surprised that she's surprised by the negative response to article when the headline & graphic clearly set a tone of criticism. Perhaps a different headline and graphic would have conveyed the "fun" Mendelsohn saw at the boot camp.
By criticizing other women's choices for their lives, and choosing not to support those choices, we continue to perpetuate a competition where it simply isn't necessary. Good grief.
Can we all just focus on making sure the grass on our side of the fence is as green as it possibly can be and not worry about the other side of the fence? Or, how about we take down the fence & work together to make sure everyone's grass is green. Is that so difficult? If the blog & writing is good, someone will read it. If it's not, it won't be read. Sometimes I wonder what Ms. Friedan would say now.
Of course, maybe the NYT had this kind of response in mind all along. Lots of talk about the NYT. Lots of traffic to the article. Hmmm ...
